ripped off

so today i was feeling a little down in the dumps, you know... a little under the weather...

decided to cheer myself up by sacrificing lunch and treating myself to an eyelash tint

so i walked into the salon and announced that i would like my eyelashes tinted

i waited for almost two hours for a vacancy and then the lady came over and asked me

what colour would you like?

i said black

she said blue/black?

i said no... BLACK BLACK

she said you mean really dark black right?

i said yes black/black

she said ok you mean blue/black then

i was abit puzzled but i couldnt be bothered arguing after all how different could black be

so she sat me down in her little chair and put paper under my eyes and told me to close my eyes and i did

she said open your eyes

so i did

she does some funky paper fixing...

now close them again

so i did

and then she says can you not close them so hard...

can u please open them again

so i did

ok now close them

i did

she chuckles

i was confused but with my eyes closed all i could do was trust her

she did her thing flipped the paper up and i had my eyes closed for maybe a good 20 minutes

then i hollered for her

she came tottling along

is it done yet?

oh yes yes its done

she takes the paper off and cleans my eyes


okay ill go get a mirror.. open your eyes again

so i did
(anticipating mirculously lush black lashes)

she gets the mirror and i look

and they looked bluddy EXACTLY EXACTLY the way they did when i walked into the store almost 3 hours earlier!

i said excuse me, how come it looks the same

what do you mean she replied

like it looks like how it did before

and you know what she said?

OHHH because you have no eyelashes to begin with

and im here thinking why didnt you fucking tell me that 3 hours and $15 ago???