frames

i really really need a good camera and a holiday

sometimes when im walking along the street, i actually see things in frames

especially in quirky quaint neighbourhoods, but also just on the street in any random place.... i see colours or patterns and i want to capture them and keep them and my memory and my head wont do these frames any justice

and it gets exceedingly frustrating

my current point and shoot just wont do anything any justice

on the odd occassion i try, but then the colours, the lines they're all wrong

so now i dont bother anymore

as for the holiday i just need one. but i want a good camera that would capture these frames on holidays otherwise it'd just be a complete waste

walls and windows

its almost been too long...wait... it HAS been too long since the last post

and prior to that i've realised, were all fairly depressing posts

and i guess that's why i stopped.

i wanted to stop being that dark and discontent person

there are different reasons for why people choose to blog and i initially chose to blog to unleash the raw emotions that i had felt at any particular point in time...i had always vowed to write not for an audience, but to write uninhibitedly and unabashedly...for myself...it just got too personal

and perhaps somewhere along the way i sort of got lost in the blog furore and lost myself immersing in the commercialism of it all ...i just got very lost

today danny asked me why i had stopped blogging

and thats what i told him... perhaps now that i am older i am better able to appreciate my privacy, i am reluctant to blog about things that are real, that are close to home

my solitude, now my beloved, my personal space... my freedom....mine

big rowdy groups no longer fascinate but are a source of distraction and annoyance
contrarily, i prefer the warmth and love of a few close clusters that i hold dearly to my heart

maybe ive changed, maybe i simply lost interest, maybe i just felt too pressured to share and share too much

having grown accustomed to the walls ive carefully placed and choreographed and painted and decorated over the past few years to shelter my privacy from prying eyes and my emotions from the anarchy of judgments

i now re-welcome the blog world with a little reluctance hoping that my love of writing will supercede the hesitance...

with the hope that i might be courageous enough to build some small windows